At the present, societal values have changed drastically, and the dating scene has been revolutionized thanks to developments in technology. Also, chivalry is almost non-existent nowadays. But this doesn’t affect many modern women as they are a lot more liberated and independent than they were decades ago. This makes women who prefer chivalry feel like they are missing out, at the same time, leaving men confused. Simply, dating these days is more complicated than it used to be because people fear bad relationships.
Such modern-day changes which are resulted by breaking down societal and cultural stereotypes surely have a positive effect on humans’ advancement. However, they aren’t that favorable for dating. Nowadays, people are very confused when it comes to dating. People are afraid of unhealthy relationships. But at the same time, they fear being alone. This makes them settle down for partners who don’t meet their standards, causing lots of issues in their relationships.
What Makes A Person Stay In An Unhealthy Relationship?
There are many people who believe that being single is worse than dealing with an unsatisfactory or abusive relationship. For them, being with someone is more important than being truly happy. Three main reasons why people decide to stay in bad relationships are discussed below.
#1 You Think You Won’t Find Someone Better
As mentioned above, finding a person that you’re compatible with is hard indeed. Sometimes you might even feel like you’ve got no chances with a good person. When you feel like this, it can make you fearful of giving up the partner that you’re already with, even if there’s no happiness in the relationship.
Your past experiences might haunt you, and getting to know a new person from the start and going through the process of dating might feel like too much work. When you feel like there’s no one better, you naturally feel demotivated to be better. The saddest part is that such feelings of hopelessness make people completely give up on the idea of a happy relationship.
Although it’s not easy to do so, you must this way of thinking if you ever want to be truly happy. More than anybody else, you must believe that you deserve someone better. According to Jordan Gray, a relationship coach, the best way to get to know someone better is to be better. If you stuck with the wrong one and if you are settling for less, you will never be able to connect with someone better. So, you should have the courage to leave the bad relationship as soon as possible.
#2 You Feel Like You Don’t Are Unworthy Of Someone Better
Sometimes you might feel like you don’t deserve someone better. According to Suzanne Lachmann, a clinical psychologist, some people feel like they do not deserve better because their outlook and ‘in look’ as she puts it, is affected by their past. Some incident in their past makes them feel like they deserve a bad relationship, or makes them afraid of being alone. For many people, such feelings make them hold on to lousy relationships.
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It’s true that changing this pattern is difficult, but the change should start with you. For this to happen, you can seek outside help to understand the problems you are dealing with.
#3 You Depend On Your Partner Financially
If you get most or all of financial support from your partner, it can be terrifying to even consider leaving. Every minute, the world is getting more and more expensive. Trying to build up your life with little to no money, support, or resources can be crippling, which is why most people decide to stay in bad relationships. However, this doesn’t mean that you are permanently caught up in a bad relationship. You just need to be brave, get a little creative, and prepare to struggle a little.
There are programs that help people to leave unhealthy relationships and stand on their own feet. It’s normal to be afraid and nervous about handling life alone. But when you give yourself a chance to lead a better life, you will realize how well you can handle such hardships.
You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Be Alone
Psychologists agree that staying single is better than dealing with bad relationships. In fact, staying single can help people to focus on themselves, understand themselves better, and get to a better mental state. These are three main reasons why you should embrace solitude.
#1 You Can Focus On Making Yourself Better
Being in a bad relationship makes you lose your self-esteem and confidence. Trust me, it’s way easier to get your self-esteem back when you’re single. You should never think of being single as being alone. Rather, think of it as dating yourself. Take yourself out on dates, buy yourself gifts, and pamper yourself. Focus all of your positive energy on yourself. When you love and appreciate yourself, you will never worry about toxic relationships because nobody will be able to bring down your self-esteem and self-worth.
#2 You’ll Be Ready To Welcome The Right Partner To Your Life
You won’t be able to meet someone better if you’re already in a relationship, because that person will have too much respect for your relationship to be with you. It’s the right thing to do because you need a person who knows to respect boundaries. Don’t let your past scars affect your new relationship.
#3 You’ll Start To Believe That It’s Okay To Be Alone
One reason that people fear being single is societal pressure. Society tells us that ‘marriage’ and ‘settling down’ are very important, and that being ‘single’ is taboo. You should understand that it’s completely fine to not be emotionally or physically attached to anybody. Don’t ever be too focused on pleasing society that you forget to make yourself happy.
#4 You’ll Learn What You Really Want In A Partner
Being in a lousy relationship might make you blind to the red flags because you were too attached to your partner emotionally that you never had time to consider what you really want. When you single, you can focus on what you genuinely want and do not want in a relationship.
Naturally, humans are social beings and they seek company. So, it’s a given that nobody wants to be alone. However, being alone doesn’t mean that you have to be alone forever. It can be a time period that will help you to get to know yourself better. Whatever the circumstances are, you should never allow yourself to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Take a deep breath and face your fears, and one day you will turn back and thank yourself for putting yourself first.